today--a love story

today, a beautiful love story from mcsweeney's...a love story that entirely fits our time.

From A TREASURY OF MODERN LOVE STORIES TO FILL THE VOID BETWEEN VALENTINE'S DAY AND SWEETEST DAY, by Anthony Jaffe, you'll find this one under the heading "2." it's only two paragraphs...and worth the look.

Here, the first few lines:

No one in the Burger King saw Tina slide her Whopper under the table and stuff it with the head and torso of a freshly killed rat, which she had covertly removed from her purse moments earlier. No one, that is, but Glenn. He had watched the lovely but sad young woman from the moment she had walked into the restaurant. And now, as she was surely about to take a bite of the adulterated sandwich and let loose a hideous shriek, he sat down across the table from her....

and, while you're there, consider giving time or $$ to 826NYC -- a fantastic nonprofit that gives kids a chance to loose their inner artists.

fix your jones for something cleverly written @ mcsweeneys.net

Posted by sarah t. at 9:34 AM 0 comments

everyone's an artist

at the end of 2005, i started jonesing for an outlet for artistic expression--i'd been working for a while for an organization that paints murals (among other things) in intercity parks and schools--and I became fascinated by how well a fresh coat of paint and a simple design could brighten up even the saddest of locales.

understand, that i have, for years, thought i had little to no skill in the areas of art and design--but i've always kicked around a variety of creative outlets--writing, knitting, painting the bathroom, graphic design, etc. anyway...in november, i decided to bite the bullet, and registered for a beginning drawing class at the school of visual arts in chelsea. as expected...i'm not great at all this...my first class was all figure drawings--and let's just say, the learning curve on this when you're just starting out is pretty steep. I didn't even know how to hold the pencil; it's like learning to write all over again.

According to artist and professor of art anatomy Sarah Simblet, there's hope for me. Simblet is the star of a BBC3 reality tv show called life class--where she is teaching 6 people who have absolutely no background in art that they can draw--and they can do it well in as little as a week.

“When I meet most beginners the first thing they say to me is, ‘I don’t know how to draw.’ They convince themselves before they arrive that they can’t draw. I love the challenge of proving them wrong.”

Not being in the UK--I don't know if she pulls it off--but if I know my reality tv M.O...she probably does. Let me know if you've got the scoop on this. The UK seems to be the place to embrace your left-brainedness, though. in just a few short clicks, I dug up not only this BBC special, but also a Campaign for Drawing, a not-for-profit designed to give people around the UK the chance to draw again--because everyone has drawn before:

1200 venues across the UK offered an exciting programme for The Big Draw 2005 - with hundreds of events for adults and children - involving artists, designers, architects, cartoonists, illustrators, scientists and the Campaign's own patrons. These activities were mainly free and widely accessible. They drew on every kind of subject - from landscapes, architecture, portraiture and still lives to the imaginary, optical, digital and scientific.

The Big Draw 2006 will take place in October. Register here. I'm actually considering taking a trip over there...and letting myself free for a little while.

Simblet may be right, though--in only a few short hours, my drawing, with the help of my amazingly encouraging teacher, went from chicken scratch to discernable outlines of the human figure. I was amazed that i had it in me, frankly...which is great, because it will keep me going back for more.

For now...I'm going back to the web for more tips and tricks...and a few models that I can work from before I ask my roommate to donate time to the cause.

fix your jones for loosing the creative part of yourself @ portrait-artist.org and drawingpower.org.uk

Posted by sarah t. at 2:07 PM 0 comments

online learning

i'm all for the concept of catering any educational setting to a child's "multiple intelligences," a theory by Harvard Professor and genius Howard Gardner essentially focused around the idea that IQ testing only tells part of the story--and that every child, or person, learns differently. Some children are number smart, some word smart, some people smart--some learn by doing, others learn by reading, others learn by being read to.

I've always thought that "online learning" was a pretty neat way to cater to some areas of multiple intelligence...it's perfect for the disciplined learner who works well in solitary situations. The increasing popularity of places like The University of Phoenix Online, American Intercontinental University and Gotham Writer's Workshop illustrate an increase in the value of online learning--which, of course, is to be expected, considering the shift our whole world is taking in the direction of the Web. While I feel like I have to push back a little and argue that online learning can't ever recreate the experience of classroom learning, I'm willing to admit that, for some, it's the most convenient way to educate yourself.

And then, this morning, I stumble upon this: An article in the Chicago Times entitled City approves state's first virtual public school. What?? This can't be what it seems, right? Ah...but it is. So, I think, it must be a high school--Chicago's answer to Philly and Microsoft's "School of the Future."

I was wrong. At Chicago's school, 600 Kindergarten through 8th Graders--instead of going to school every day--will log on to school. WHAT??

"We want to offer diverse, innovative opportunities for children, and not everyone learns the same way," said Chicago Public Schools spokesman Malon Edwards. "They (teachers) are wary of it, which is understandable."

Gee, Malon...I can't imagine why the teachers are wary of it. Maybe because it's COMPLETELY INSANE? We're talking about a critical period in human social and cognitive development. Many Kindergarteners have their first experiences with socialization and peer interaction at school. They sit on carpets and play games. They learn to articulate themselves to others. They learn to communicate to groups. They interact with people their own age. This is true of all years of school, certainly...but elementary school is so very critical.

Leaving aside social development--what about development of discipline, control, and a concept of sometimes having to do something that you don't want to do? Parent's are going to be required to be watchdogs over their children's learning in a school like this--and, let's be honest, is that really going to happen?

I'm horrified by this. It's a sure-fire way to decrease the amount of human interaction and social development that every child needs...and it takes the brilliant concept of online learning and online communities of practice and perverts it. Unfortunately, all online learning systems will suffer because of the inevitable failure of this school.

Sorry for the rant, y'all...

Fix your jones for an online learning program near you @ www.worldwidelearn.com; for information on child cognative and social development @ pbs.org/wholechild and earlychildhood.com; and for the right way for your kid to use the internet @ kids.getnetwise.org

Posted by sarah t. at 10:08 AM 1 comments

expand your mind today

fix your jones for being more artsy @ lemonpepperhotwing.blogspot.com

Posted by sarah t. at 9:38 PM 0 comments

Adam and Eve drove an Excursion

Adam and Eve did indeed drive an Excursion according to George W. Bush as played by the master Will Ferrell. This video, a hysterical sequel to the ACT video posted online during the Kerry/Bush election, features Ferrell as our fearless leader...talking the talk about global warming.

As usual, Ferrell does the funniest, most accurate Bush-as-idiot impression I've ever seen in my life. Side-splittingly funny, both of these videos are the best political satire I've seen in ages...vastly reminiscent of the best of Saturday Night Live political reaming.

Where the White House West video is a parody of Vote Bush Ads, and features the Prez mending his fence with a pickaxe and running terrified from horses urging, "Somebody call Dick Cheney," the Earth to America video shows Bush "relaxing...growing out his soul patch" and mocking those tricky little facts that we all get so uppity about.

The new video aired on TBS as part of Earth to America, a two-hour comedy special from November 20th, 2005...celebrating the earth with the funniest people on it. Kudos to TBS for being bold enough to challenge the current administration. If only more would do it.

Fix your jones for organizations that aren't afraid to mock the eminently mockable @ america coming together and stopglobalwarming.org

Posted by sarah t. at 5:35 PM 0 comments

new year...new facts

in honor of 2006, a treatise on everyone's favorite new year's lyrical mangle--Auld Lang Syne.

Made famous in my own consciousness by the witty banter of Harry and Sally...I have always accepted the Ephron theory of subtext for the song...that "we're just supposed to remember that we forgot" the people that we forgot. after all...if we forgot them...how are we supposed to ever remember them? right. so now that that's cleared up, here's a non-Reinered critique from The Telegraph:

Auld Lang Syne has achieved a level of global acceptance that dwarfs Mozart or the Beatles. It follows the National Anthem at the conclusion of the Last Night of the Proms; it used to be the tune for the national anthems of Korea and the Maldives; it's used by Japanese department stores to usher customers out of the building at closing time; and it was played at the funeral of Canadian prime minister Pierre Trudeau.

Strange, I know. The accepted translation of "auld lang syne" is "a long time ago" and, most people know at least the first few bars of the song--most commonly attributed to Robert Burns in 1788. Most of us can get through the "should auld acquaintence be forgot and never brought to mind?" part...but we have no idea where to go from there. In fact, the original lyrics are written in Traditional Scottish, but a survey finds that about 20 percent of Scots are lost once they get past "Should auld acquaintance be forgot"...so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself if you're humming along two bars into the ditty.

Of course...perhaps all this helps to explain why so few of us can remember a song designed to encourage us not to forget.

fix your jones for interesting facts about a curious holiday ditty @ http://www.hogmanay.net

Posted by sarah t. at 6:08 PM 0 comments